Valentine’s Day – A View from Across the Atlantic

Last year I wrote a post about Valentine’s Day called ‘Single Awareness Day? Seriously!’ a year on I thought it might be interesting to look back at that post, add some observations about Valentine’s Day in Canada and talk about what has changed for me.

I have never entirely understood why people complain about the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day. Sure cards and chocolates are available in every store and the price of flowers is dramatically increased, but it never seemed that excessive back in England. This year I am in Canada. I now understand just how bad it is having seen just how commercialised Valentine’s Day is in North America. In Walmart there was already a substantial amount of Valentine’s products in stock right from when I arrived back in Canada at the start of January and a lot of it looks pretty low quality.

I think in theory Valentine’s Day is a nice idea but in practise it doesn’t always work. Celebrating love is a wonderful idea. However the way in which people (both single and in relationships) perceive Valentine’s Day as something of an obligation is problematic. I don’t think it is right to begrudge people who do want to participate in Valentine’s Day, however people equally shouldn’t feel like they are being shamed into a relationship. Ultimately it comes down to doing what is right for you.

For me personally, I have realised that in the past year I have been increasingly trying to dedicate myself to my studies and push myself to do better. As a conquence I sort have don’t really have time to be searching for a relationship.

So in conclusion, as I mentioned last year, I think that The Supremes got it right back in 1966, “You can't hurry love, No you just have to wait. Love don't come easy, It's a game of give and take.”

Surviving Coursework Season – In Canada!

Back in May I wrote a post called “Student Life - Surviving Coursework Season”, as I have just finished my first coursework season during my time studying abroad I thought I’d write a blog post about surviving coursework season in Canada.

First off, more accurately than it being coursework season this is mid-term season. Generally mid-terms are sit down exams. However I have been fortunate enough to only have had one out of the five classes I am taking set a mid-term exam. I prefer writing coursework essays to taking an exam as I do quite well with the whole process of researching, formulating an argument, writing and then editing.

As I just mentioned I am taking five classes this semester, back in the UK I only take three classes a semester. This does mean that I have more coursework to do over here but generally they have not been as long. All the essays I’ve had to write over here have been under 2000 words whereas back in the UK my essays have usually between 2000 – 2500 words long.

I am naturally quite an organised person and this is a very helpful trait to have when dealing with writing coursework. I keep an eye on when deadlines are on their way. I will always begin writing an essay with enough time to have a couple of days before the deadline to repeatedly go over it and edit it. The downside of being organised like this is that I then tend to become stressed out if I deviate from my plan, even if it’s just running a day behind schedule.

One real struggle has been that classes are still running completely as normal whilst all these coursework/mid-term deadlines have been occurring. This means that there’s still been the regular amounts of reading to do alongside writing essays. Usually in the UK a lighter load of reading is set for weeks when there’s coursework due.

However overall I have managed to adapt to the differences and once again have survived coursework season!

Studying Abroad – A Month To Go

In a months’ time I am going to be in Canada right at the start of my time studying abroad. I’m getting to a point where it feels like whilst I now know quite a lot there’s still quite a lot still to find out.

In the past week I found out where I will be living on campus and who I am going to be living with. Knowing where I will be living makes the whole experience feel more real. Now I have a more accurate idea of what it will be like for me when I’m living there. I’ve ended up being assigned the ‘International House’ which I’m pleased with. I think it’s going to be a good experience living with people from around the world. Dealing with culture shock and cultural adjustment will also probably be easier for me if I know that there are other international students around. I am also glad that I have a single room, given my tidiness preferences I didn’t want to have a shared bedroom.

Overall the main emotion I’m feeling at the moment is excitement. I’m excited to get out there and just experience new things. I really enjoy being a student and going abroad almost feels like I’m getting chance to experience being a student for the first time again, except this time will be better as I feel more confident and have learnt more about myself since first year. However there is a little bit of nervousness. Mainly at the moment it’s the things that I am still uncertain about which is making me nervous however that’s something which will resolve itself over time.

I first thought of doing a year abroad back when I applied to uni back in October 2014 so this has been a long time coming, possibly that’s part of why I don’t feel too nervous as that means I have been mentally preparing for it.

It still doesn’t feel like I will be in Canada ready to begin my Study Aboard adventure in a month. However I think I’m ready to go out there and seize the opportunities.

Second Year is Very Nearly Over

My Second Year of university has nearly come to an end. For my Third Year I’m going to be studying abroad in Canada.

This year has flown by, I know that is something of a cliché but it really is true. University years just go by so quickly. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 9 months since I was writing about starting this blog and writing about how I have friends now. Although at the same time when I think back to things I was doing in the first few weeks of first semester that all feels really long ago now! I’ve managed to do a lot of stuff this year. It’s strange how it can be both feel as if it has passed in an instant and like I’ve been here for ages.

I definitely have more friends than I did in first year and I have managed to do more socialising this year. Comparing first year and second year it really is obvious that I have gotten better at making and keeping friends. I’ve also got better at actually doing stuff with my friends, it’s difficult sometimes to get everyone’s schedules to sync up but it can definitely be worth the effort. I’m still a bit awkward with making friends and keeping in touch but I think I’m getting much better. Though I still can’t figure out if I’m an outgoing introvert or a social awkward extrovert!

I think this year my sense of independence has also really developed. It started to develop during first year but it’s even stronger now. Now if I want to do something then I will just do it, even if I have to do it alone. I don’t have a problem with doing stuff on my own. At the end of the day it’s more important to do something that you want to do than not doing because of someone else.

It always disappoints me how things just sort of fade out into the long break at the end of the academic year. I suppose because everyone finishes at different times and then everyone heads home at different times it’s hard to have a complete finish to the academic year or the individual semesters. However that doesn’t stop the way it so often gradually ends and fades away being disappointing.

This really is the end of an era for me as when summer beak comes to its conclusion I won’t be heading back to my usual university, I will be heading to Canada! Obviously I am very excited about my year abroad. For the most part I think I’m more excited than nervous which I guess is a good thing. I’m going to write a few posts over the summer about what I’m looking forward to and how I’m feeling about studying abroad so I won’t go too in depth with that here. However it is weird knowing that in Autumn 2018 when I return to university in England things will be massively different - most of the cohort that I started university with will have graduated!

Second year has generally been a positive experience for me. There’s been some parts that have been bad, hard or difficult but on the whole I think it’s been a good year for me.

Another Semester Is Over!

Well another semester has come to an end today. It really doesn’t feel like it should be time for me to be typing this already, it feels like it was just the other week that I was writing about coming back after Christmas!

Spring is always seen as the season of change and this spring semester is no exception. Thinking back to where I was when I started this semester back in January and where I am now at the end of it in March a lot has changed. I feel like I’m constantly reflecting on how much I’ve changed but it’s true. University is often seen as a massive period of personal change and growth, I think this is one of those clichés which is actually true.

I think in many ways this has probably been my most academically challenging semester yet. Obviously education always steps up a level but there has been some times this semester that I’ve felt really down, both mentally and physically when I got a quite nasty stomach bug. However I am someone who does try not to dwell on the negative aspects of life and instead search for the positive stuff. And I try to get through most things by drinking copious amounts of coffee!

These past few days have been really good and I’ve been feeling pretty upbeat and positive lately. Of course I’m happy at the moment, I’m going to Disneyland Paris very soon! But I also had my birthday recently, which was great. I saw Mamma Mia which I loved! And there’s been all the good stuff that I shared in my post on how March is speeding by. The other day I also made a little Lego DC Superheroes stop-motion animation (which you can watch on YouTube here) and that’s something which I’ve wanted to do for a while so I’m glad I’ve finally done it. On a slightly random tangent I also want to share that I’ve been listening to Super Friend from the recent Flash/Supergirl musical crossover episode which is a really fun song that’s had me smiling a lot.

It’s certainly strange to think that the end to my second year at university is now on the not too distant horizon. I’m trying not to stress about what the future holds for me, however there is a certain sense of apprehension when I think about what my story holds. But on a personal level 2017 has been off to a great start and I’m sure it’s going to keep being a good year for me.

Single Awareness Day? Seriously!

It’s February 14^th today, it’s Valentine’s Day.

In recent years I’ve noticed that there’s been a trend amongst single people to call today Single Awareness Day. Seriously? That name is strange because are you not aware that you’re single the other 364 days of the year? I understand the sentiment to an extent but to me it just seems mean spirited to be so begrudging of couples wanting to be affectionate with each other.

On the other end of the spectrum however you have couples who see Valentine’s Day as an obligation. Surely if you love your partner you should tell them that throughout the rest of the year? And if you don’t realise that Valentine’s Day is coming up and only do something last minute because you feel obliged to then surely that also defeats the point of it.

At the end of the day we shouldn’t feel like we have to celebrate a relationship and we shouldn’t feel like we’re being judged if we’re not in one. I’m someone who’s never had a relationship (there’s a long story in that, maybe it’ll be another blog post) and I’m alright with that because I know that I don’t want to rush into something. As The Supremes’ sang back in 1966 ‘You can't hurry love, No, you just have to wait, You gotta trust, give it time, No matter how long it takes.’

So regardless of if you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with your loved one today or if you’ll be playing (and singing along to) Beyoncé’s Single Ladies I hope you have a great day.

Wait, that actually happens in real life?

So yesterday afternoon took an unexpected turn for the better when I just bumped into a couple of friends in a coffee shop.

Honestly before yesterday I probably would have laughed at the idea that people just happened to meet their friends unexpectedly in coffee shops. It just sounds so cliché! But then yesterday afternoon I’d just been checking out what one of my local charity shops had in, I walked past the coffee shop next door and saw a couple of my friends sat in the window. I popped in to say hi and we ended up chatting for quite a while.

This has got me thinking about how the way that we interact with each other as students is in a lot of ways very strange.

As student’s people rarely seem to go round to each other’s flats or house, why is that? It’s not like we have to ask our parents’ permission to invite a friend over anymore! But even someone like me who’s always struggled a bit socially seemed to have friends over and go over to friends’ houses more often back when we had to ask our parents.

I also think its interesting (and slightly worrying) how so much of our contact and interaction with each other is digital. So often it seems that you only really know what someone has been up to through what they’ve been posting on Facebook.

Another thing that I find quite isolating is that most people seem to mainly socialise on nights out involving drinking. Nothing wrong with enjoying that but it does mean that people (like me) who don’t like alcohol seem to be left out a lot of the time.

That’s just my opinion and experience. Maybe it’s completely different to the general story. But I personally want more meetings in coffee shops with my friends.

I didn’t get all the Gay Genes but I Got the Fashion One

I’m gay. I grew up in a small northern town. It’s pretty obvious that I encountered a lot of stereotypes and people making assumptions about me because of my sexuality.

 I am aware that there’s certain stereotypes about being a gay man I conform to. I have artistic hobbies, I like to dress well and there’s definitely some songs on my iPod that are considered ‘gay anthems’. I’m not afraid of being gay and I don’t mind who knows it but my interests and hobbies have absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality.

Even before I’d actually figured out that I was gay a lot of my class mates were convinced that they knew my sexuality better than I did. For example the fact that I was good at Textiles was 100% solid evidence that I must be attracted to men. People were telling me this about two years before I even started to figure out for myself that I was gay!

There was also a phase where I listened to songs from Glee a lot – about one/two years before I came out to my classmates. The music I listened to had absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality but apparently that was solid evidence that I must be gay. Though in reality the only relation between Glee and my sexuality was that the character Sebastian Smythe (played by the love of my life Grant Gustin!) was my role model because he was gay, unapologetic about it and yet never let it define him. Side note, representation in the media is so important it would be a lot easier to be a gay teen if there were more characters who were unapologetic about their sexuality and yet never defined by it.

That’s just a couple of examples of the assumptions people made about me but there were loads more. Even if a comment wasn’t said directly to me I still felt a sense of hurt if someone casually used a homophobic slur. I definitely feel like being gay and going through the school system in a small Northern town meant that I had to get a thick shell to let comments just roll off me and had to emotionally mature faster than most of my school mates.

When I did feel comfortable enough to start to come out to my peers the first two people I told were my (then) best friends. One of them claimed that she’d always known however I’ve always doubted that. Just the more that I think about it the way she acted around me changed after I came out as if she assumed that I’d start filling the role of the stereotypical ‘gay best friend’ but that’s just not who I am. The more I’ve thought about it the more I think that she felt betrayed that I hadn’t come out sooner as if being in the closet was a personal attack on her.

Growing up gay for me has not been a completely awful experience. My family have honestly been incredibly supportive and in the eyes of my close family I am still just Alex. So I know I have been luckier than a lot of people but still going through secondary school was really tough for me sometimes.