Turn Left Moments

Recently I went to Toronto ComiCon, in my blog post about it I wrote that in “some ways this feels like a ‘Turn Left’ moment for me”. In this post I want to explore further what I meant by that.

In 2008 there was a Doctor Who episode called Turn Left. The episode explored what would have happened if Donna Nobel had turned right instead of left and never met the Doctor, the answer was that things would have worked out a lot worse for everyone. In my opinion it is a seriously underrated episode, very powerful and very emotional.

The basic concept of the episode is essentially that a single moment can change things for a person, that concept has resonated with me for years. Maybe not everyone would agree but I think that there are moments in our lives that change things for us. I sort of think of these as Turn Left moments.

So what are some of these moments for me? Well…

2005 – Watching Rose

·         On Saturday 26th March the first episode of the new series of Doctor Who aired, I watched it, and 13 years later I am still a Whovian. I honestly cannot stress enough what an enormous impact Doctor Who has had on me. Genuinely it has changed my life.

2012 – Starting to Write Fan Fiction

·         I suspect most people might be a little bit embarrassed to admit that they used to write Fan Fiction, I’m not. Writing Fan Fic was the first time I ever really wrote something for myself, and the first time I wrote for fun. Essentially because I was a Fan Fic writer I discovered that not only do I enjoy writing but I’m also pretty good at it. I wouldn’t have chosen the degree I am doing if I hadn’t found that love of writing through my Fan Fic experience.

2012 – Going to Disneyland Paris for the First Time

·         I think a lot of people assume that I have been a massive Disney fan for years and I grew up with the movies I love today. That’s not actually the case. It was a trip to Disneyland Paris in 2012 that really awoke my love of Disney. It is because of that trip that I am Disnerd. This trip also influenced me in another way in that it was responsible for me beginning to get into keeping a scrapbook.

2013 – Grant Gustin is the Flash

·         I bet a lot of people assume I have been a superhero fan for years and years but actually, as with Disney, it is a lot more recently than you’d probably expect. Really it all begun with Grant Gustin being cast as Barry Allen in The Flash. I was already a big fan of Grant from his role on Glee and so when he was cast as the Flash I knew I had to watch the series to see more of him. But getting into the series had another consequence, I got seriously into superheroes!

2016 – I Bought a Tiana Doll

·        Just one doll isn’t going to make that big a difference is it? I was so wrong! One Saturday in February 2016 I bought a Tiana doll, as you probably know Tiana is my favourite Disney Princess. A few months later I decided maybe I should buy dolls of the other Disney Princesses that I really love, but only a few of them. From there it just grew and grew. My love of dolls also developed into making clothes for them and rooms for them to be displayed in. As of March 2018 I currently own 38 dolls!

2018 – Toronto ComiCon?

·         Maybe it’s too early to say right now, but Toronto ComiCon sort of feels like it’s the next of these Turn Left moments in my life. I had such a good time and now I really want to go to more conventions. I also want to get more into cosplaying because it was a lot of fun.

Valentine’s Day – A View from Across the Atlantic

Last year I wrote a post about Valentine’s Day called ‘Single Awareness Day? Seriously!’ a year on I thought it might be interesting to look back at that post, add some observations about Valentine’s Day in Canada and talk about what has changed for me.

I have never entirely understood why people complain about the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day. Sure cards and chocolates are available in every store and the price of flowers is dramatically increased, but it never seemed that excessive back in England. This year I am in Canada. I now understand just how bad it is having seen just how commercialised Valentine’s Day is in North America. In Walmart there was already a substantial amount of Valentine’s products in stock right from when I arrived back in Canada at the start of January and a lot of it looks pretty low quality.

I think in theory Valentine’s Day is a nice idea but in practise it doesn’t always work. Celebrating love is a wonderful idea. However the way in which people (both single and in relationships) perceive Valentine’s Day as something of an obligation is problematic. I don’t think it is right to begrudge people who do want to participate in Valentine’s Day, however people equally shouldn’t feel like they are being shamed into a relationship. Ultimately it comes down to doing what is right for you.

For me personally, I have realised that in the past year I have been increasingly trying to dedicate myself to my studies and push myself to do better. As a conquence I sort have don’t really have time to be searching for a relationship.

So in conclusion, as I mentioned last year, I think that The Supremes got it right back in 1966, “You can't hurry love, No you just have to wait. Love don't come easy, It's a game of give and take.”

Back from Uni

So it’s now a week since I came back home from Uni for the Summer Break. Compared to my average week at uni this past week has been rather quiet for me.

One of the most noticeable things that a changed in this past week is the weather. I don’t entirely mind this. Just before I left my uni city it was getting a little bit too hot. I usually think I’m pretty good in the heat however I don’t think anyone is very good when it’s that type of heat that just doesn’t cool down and all the buildings keep holding in the heat. But this sudden spell of bad weather began more or less as soon as I returned home. If this lasts for another couple of weeks I am sure I will be fed up of it but for now it’s a welcome change.

I live in a small town and go to uni in a reasonably large city. There’s quite a contrast between the two of them for me. Generally things are much quieter for me in my small town. I know my summer break is going to be much quieter than my time at uni has been but that’s just what I expect. I grew up in a small town and so this is what I have known for most of my life. When I first went to uni I noticed (and still notice) that there’s a definite contrast between those of us who are from small town backgrounds and those who are from big cities. There’s various things such as how people from small towns tend to be more forgiving when a bus is running a little late because we grew up having to put up with really unreliable bus services!

However I’ve been trying to keep busy over the past week or so. I’m back into sewing again, which is a hobby I tend not to do as much when I’m at uni. I’ve also been having to do a lot of unpacking, I know I’m a collector but I still find it amazing just how much stuff I have! There’s also been general stuff around the house that needs sorting out from how things were when I left them at spring break so that has all been taking up a significant chunk of my past week.

I will keep running this blog throughout summer break. Obviously my weekly Doctor Who reviews will be coming to an end this Saturday however I plan to watch some Classic Doctor Who over the summer and so I might review a few stories. As I live in a small town I won’t be able to keep doing my Saturday shops so My Haul posts will not be up anywhere near as regularly, however I hope to do a few hauls when I go out shopping. I have several new doll rooms planned and it’s likely that I am going to write a post about how I make them when I get around to making them. Also as I mentioned in my post about finishing second year I will be writing about going out to Canada.

Even if it is a quiet summer I know that at the end of it my year of Study Abroad in Canada begins! In some ways it’s good to have a calm and familiar summer before the excitement of what is undoubtedly going to be the biggest adventure of my life so far.

Another Semester Is Over!

Well another semester has come to an end today. It really doesn’t feel like it should be time for me to be typing this already, it feels like it was just the other week that I was writing about coming back after Christmas!

Spring is always seen as the season of change and this spring semester is no exception. Thinking back to where I was when I started this semester back in January and where I am now at the end of it in March a lot has changed. I feel like I’m constantly reflecting on how much I’ve changed but it’s true. University is often seen as a massive period of personal change and growth, I think this is one of those clichés which is actually true.

I think in many ways this has probably been my most academically challenging semester yet. Obviously education always steps up a level but there has been some times this semester that I’ve felt really down, both mentally and physically when I got a quite nasty stomach bug. However I am someone who does try not to dwell on the negative aspects of life and instead search for the positive stuff. And I try to get through most things by drinking copious amounts of coffee!

These past few days have been really good and I’ve been feeling pretty upbeat and positive lately. Of course I’m happy at the moment, I’m going to Disneyland Paris very soon! But I also had my birthday recently, which was great. I saw Mamma Mia which I loved! And there’s been all the good stuff that I shared in my post on how March is speeding by. The other day I also made a little Lego DC Superheroes stop-motion animation (which you can watch on YouTube here) and that’s something which I’ve wanted to do for a while so I’m glad I’ve finally done it. On a slightly random tangent I also want to share that I’ve been listening to Super Friend from the recent Flash/Supergirl musical crossover episode which is a really fun song that’s had me smiling a lot.

It’s certainly strange to think that the end to my second year at university is now on the not too distant horizon. I’m trying not to stress about what the future holds for me, however there is a certain sense of apprehension when I think about what my story holds. But on a personal level 2017 has been off to a great start and I’m sure it’s going to keep being a good year for me.

March is Speeding By

I know it’s not quite the end of the month yet but March feels like it’s going by really fast. I had intended to update my blog several times this month but I’ve just sort let it go a little over the past few weeks. Last time I posted was just before my birthday and this time I’m just sharing what’s generally been going on in my life since then.

• I had a really nice birthday. It wasn’t exactly crazy busy or anything but that’s not my style. I just had a fun but relaxed day which was full of stuff that I like.

• I saw Mamma Mia at the theatre the day before my birthday, which was wonderful.

• I don’t have any full on essays due until after Spring Break but there’s been quite a bit of uni work keeping me busy recently. I always like to try to stay on top of my work and get stuff done in advance, in the long run its definitely good to be prepared but the process of being prepared can become quite time consuming!

• I’ve finally got further along with my Study Abroad application and have selected the modules that I am going to be doing during my first semester whilst I’m in Canada. The process of applying is quite strange and longwinded; I initially applied within my home uni to go on a Year Abroad, I then had to confirm that I was certain I wanted to go once I got assigned my place and most recently I’ve had to apply again to the Canadian university which will be hosting me whilst I’m abroad.

• Yesterday I went to see the new live action Beauty and the Beast with a couple of my friends. I really enjoyed it and I definitely would recommend it. Afterwards we went out for dinner at Five Guys. We had a really great time together yesterday.

• Perhaps most excitingly though, is that in a week’s time I’m going to Disneyland Paris with my friends! This will be my fourth visit and we are going to be there for the 25th Anniversary celebrations.

I am nearly 20!

It’s my birthday very soon and I turn 20! It still doesn’t feel real that I should be turning 20. I’m not exactly worried about getting older, it’s what happens, isn’t it. Though it is strange to be thinking that I am no longer going to be a teenager. 20 is the start of becoming an adult!

Usually for my birthday I tend not to do big exciting parties, I prefer a good celebratory meal out. This year I am seeing Mamma Mia at the theatre the day before and I’ll be eating out on my actual birthday and we’re going to be watching Frozen (my favourite Disney movie and one of my all-time favourite films) at Disney Soc. This birthday is also a little different from usual in that I am not going to be spending the day with my parents like I usually do. I don’t mind this too much and after all it’s not like I can fly back home just for my birthday whilst I’m in Canada next year!

When I think back to where I was in my life a year ago and compare it to where I am right now quite a lot has changed.

 I think now I have more self-confidence than I have at any other point in my life. I still have moments of self-doubt but I’ve got to a point that I’m pretty assured in who I am and I don’t care what other people may think of me.

I have gained a hobby over the past year which I did not see coming but I really love, doll collecting! I previously talked about doll collecting but it really has become a massive hobby that I love. And it’s not just collecting dolls of my favourite character. It’s also making rooms, accessories and outfits for them.

In terms of friendship things have changed massively, I’ve talked before about how I struggled with friends in first year. But now I have friends! I meet up with my friends regularly, I’m even going to Disneyland Paris over spring break with my friends and I’m not trying to be friends with people who make me unhappy anymore.

In conclusion, it has been great being 19. The biggest challenge that being 20 is going to bring is my year abroad. I’m going out to Canada in September for an academic year. I’m a little nervous but I am mainly excited about going over there and trying out something completely new. I am actually genuinely happy with where I am in my life right now and I’m excited to keep seeing where my path is going to lead me.

Student Life – Avoiding The Student Bubble

It’s pretty much a fact of student life that you get sucked into the ‘student bubble’. Yet –partially because I’m doing it on my terms – I kind of feel like I’ve avoided becoming completely sucked into the ‘student bubble’.

By the ‘student bubble’ I mean the way that some students end up living their life in a way that means more or less everything revolves around university and being a student. I know people who seemingly do things just because that’s what a student is supposed to do rather than their being any sense of independence attached to it. I know people who haven’t explored the city and embraced some of the opportunities that are on our doorstep. Why do some people just seem intent on having a completely generic student experience instead of breaking out of the routine of the ‘student bubble’?

I’m not trying to shame anyone here. I have nothing against routine, I’m a naturally organised person so I enjoy having a routine. For example Monday’s I meet up with my friends for coffee (I’ve talked about that in this post). Tuesday evening is Disney Soc. And every Saturday morning just before 9AM I go out into the city and have my weekly Saturday Shop, (see my haul posts).

In my first year I lived in the off campus accommodation block. At my uni most of the residences are on campus but there’s one block which is in the city at the opposite side of the city centre to the university campus. I think living in the city during first year was a really great thing to happen to me. I’m sure living on campus has lots of benefits but I relished the sense of independence that I had from essentially being left out on my own. Living in the city meant I couldn’t rely on eateries on campus like some students do, I had to learn how to cook (I talked about this previously inanother post). I had to learn the bus system, which might sound like something fairly basic but it’s something that I noticed trips up a lot of second years who lived on campus. Living in the city also meant I got a real appreciate for having the city on my doorstep.

At the end of the day I am a naturally independent person and I do enjoy being a little different and doing it on my terms. I just don’t understand how and why some people let themselves get trapped in the student bubble.

Single Awareness Day? Seriously!

It’s February 14^th today, it’s Valentine’s Day.

In recent years I’ve noticed that there’s been a trend amongst single people to call today Single Awareness Day. Seriously? That name is strange because are you not aware that you’re single the other 364 days of the year? I understand the sentiment to an extent but to me it just seems mean spirited to be so begrudging of couples wanting to be affectionate with each other.

On the other end of the spectrum however you have couples who see Valentine’s Day as an obligation. Surely if you love your partner you should tell them that throughout the rest of the year? And if you don’t realise that Valentine’s Day is coming up and only do something last minute because you feel obliged to then surely that also defeats the point of it.

At the end of the day we shouldn’t feel like we have to celebrate a relationship and we shouldn’t feel like we’re being judged if we’re not in one. I’m someone who’s never had a relationship (there’s a long story in that, maybe it’ll be another blog post) and I’m alright with that because I know that I don’t want to rush into something. As The Supremes’ sang back in 1966 ‘You can't hurry love, No, you just have to wait, You gotta trust, give it time, No matter how long it takes.’

So regardless of if you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with your loved one today or if you’ll be playing (and singing along to) Beyoncé’s Single Ladies I hope you have a great day.

Student Food – Stop being so cliché!

It really feels like it is long overdue for people to stop being so cliché about student food.

I came to uni with a basic knowledge of cooking, nothing too elaborate but I knew enough to get by on. First week of first semester I really wasn’t eating too well and it was genuinely having an effect on my mentality and feeling of wellness. I just decided there and then that I should start trying to cook and making sure I was eating better. Since then I’ve never looked back.

I’ve done my own spin on family recipes. I’ve come up with my own dishes (three ingredient Spag Bol). I do Mary Berry and Nigella recipes. I just like cooking for myself.

Eating well definitely helps me to feel healthier and happier. I tend to get ill less often than most and I think part of that if down to me having a good diet. It also works out slightly cheaper for me on average if I’m making food instead of eating out, getting take aways or having ready meals.

To be clear I’m not condemning anyone who has just ready meals or take aways. I do eat out or have a ready meal or take away occasionally but it’s usually more of a treat. I do ‘cheat’ whilst cooking – for example I never bother making rice, I prefer to use microwave rice. I’ve just found cooking proper meals to be something that’s surprisingly easy, something that has made a positive impact on my health, something that’s enjoyable and most importantly it’s something that tastes good.

Wait, that actually happens in real life?

So yesterday afternoon took an unexpected turn for the better when I just bumped into a couple of friends in a coffee shop.

Honestly before yesterday I probably would have laughed at the idea that people just happened to meet their friends unexpectedly in coffee shops. It just sounds so cliché! But then yesterday afternoon I’d just been checking out what one of my local charity shops had in, I walked past the coffee shop next door and saw a couple of my friends sat in the window. I popped in to say hi and we ended up chatting for quite a while.

This has got me thinking about how the way that we interact with each other as students is in a lot of ways very strange.

As student’s people rarely seem to go round to each other’s flats or house, why is that? It’s not like we have to ask our parents’ permission to invite a friend over anymore! But even someone like me who’s always struggled a bit socially seemed to have friends over and go over to friends’ houses more often back when we had to ask our parents.

I also think its interesting (and slightly worrying) how so much of our contact and interaction with each other is digital. So often it seems that you only really know what someone has been up to through what they’ve been posting on Facebook.

Another thing that I find quite isolating is that most people seem to mainly socialise on nights out involving drinking. Nothing wrong with enjoying that but it does mean that people (like me) who don’t like alcohol seem to be left out a lot of the time.

That’s just my opinion and experience. Maybe it’s completely different to the general story. But I personally want more meetings in coffee shops with my friends.

Being Back at Uni after Christmas

I have started my Second Semester of my Second Year. In my last post I wrote about my thoughts and feelings to be going back to uni after Christmas, this time I’m writing about my thoughts and feelings now that I’m back.

We broke up for Christmas quite late this year which meant that we returned to Uni midway into January. I’ve found – and sparking to my friends I’m not the only one feeling like this – that coming back after Christmas break when Christmas was so long ago feels very strange.  There’s no Fresher’s Week for second semester and so it’s straight back into seminars and reading. I don’t mind this but it’s certainly disorientating after a four week Christmas break.

One of my favourite parts of starting a new semester is going on a Book Hunt! I enjoy having a list of books that I need to read that semester and walking around the bookshops in the city to buy them all. I know I could just download them all on Kindle but I much prefer having a paper copy to put on my shelf (and I know my mum is strongly agreeing with that sentiment as she’s reading this blog post!)

For some reason it always surprises me just how much I need to buy over the first week. I don’t know why given I’ve come back to uni after a break five times. But every day since I got back on Saturday I have had to go out to get something I need – from another carton of orange juice to shaving cream to pasta. Do any other students find that they’re constantly restocking on stuff when they get back, even if they did a shop on their way back?

On the whole I feel happy to be back and I’ve enjoyed my first few days of my first week of my second semester. It just does feel a little strange to be back!

I didn’t get all the Gay Genes but I Got the Fashion One

I’m gay. I grew up in a small northern town. It’s pretty obvious that I encountered a lot of stereotypes and people making assumptions about me because of my sexuality.

 I am aware that there’s certain stereotypes about being a gay man I conform to. I have artistic hobbies, I like to dress well and there’s definitely some songs on my iPod that are considered ‘gay anthems’. I’m not afraid of being gay and I don’t mind who knows it but my interests and hobbies have absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality.

Even before I’d actually figured out that I was gay a lot of my class mates were convinced that they knew my sexuality better than I did. For example the fact that I was good at Textiles was 100% solid evidence that I must be attracted to men. People were telling me this about two years before I even started to figure out for myself that I was gay!

There was also a phase where I listened to songs from Glee a lot – about one/two years before I came out to my classmates. The music I listened to had absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality but apparently that was solid evidence that I must be gay. Though in reality the only relation between Glee and my sexuality was that the character Sebastian Smythe (played by the love of my life Grant Gustin!) was my role model because he was gay, unapologetic about it and yet never let it define him. Side note, representation in the media is so important it would be a lot easier to be a gay teen if there were more characters who were unapologetic about their sexuality and yet never defined by it.

That’s just a couple of examples of the assumptions people made about me but there were loads more. Even if a comment wasn’t said directly to me I still felt a sense of hurt if someone casually used a homophobic slur. I definitely feel like being gay and going through the school system in a small Northern town meant that I had to get a thick shell to let comments just roll off me and had to emotionally mature faster than most of my school mates.

When I did feel comfortable enough to start to come out to my peers the first two people I told were my (then) best friends. One of them claimed that she’d always known however I’ve always doubted that. Just the more that I think about it the way she acted around me changed after I came out as if she assumed that I’d start filling the role of the stereotypical ‘gay best friend’ but that’s just not who I am. The more I’ve thought about it the more I think that she felt betrayed that I hadn’t come out sooner as if being in the closet was a personal attack on her.

Growing up gay for me has not been a completely awful experience. My family have honestly been incredibly supportive and in the eyes of my close family I am still just Alex. So I know I have been luckier than a lot of people but still going through secondary school was really tough for me sometimes.